TIDBITS & FIT-BYTES: Mary’s DWTS Season #23 Week 6 Analysis

Steve Cochran Show Traffic Anchor Mary Van De Velde

Steve Cochran Show Traffic Anchor Mary Van De Velde

TIDBITS & FIT-BYTES: Mary’s DWTS Season #23 Week #6 Analysis

WARNING : Wait to take a shower until after the show…it’s the hot and sweaty “Latin Night”! Get ready for clothes removal.

You probably wouldn’t associate “hot” with the rapper Pitbull, but he’s once again on the show. Is he under contract?? This time, he not only sings with two other rappers (no clue who they are), but is a celebrity judge. Please bring back Len!

Right away, the RESULTS start to come in and we find out Ryan, James and Terra are safe. The “shy” Amber is in jeopardy…no surprise there. So, here we go…turn on your ceiling fans.

RYAN LOCHTE – Cheryl warns him right away, he’ll not only be taking off his shirt (shocking), but also his pants! The salsa dance ends up with Ryan in glow-in-the-dark tennis shorts (where’s the Speedo?), and knee pads (nice look) and Cheryl in glowing green tassels. Cool dance at the end in the dark, but judges say he still lacks musicality.
30 pts.

After each dance, the stars get to hit a mirror ball pinata for fun. Watch out Erin Andrews…that’s a big stick.

TERRA JOLE – She has a hard time looking mean for the paso-doble, but looked awesome in her purple passion ruffles. Judges said she wasn’t as sharp as usual…looked uncomfortable.
30 pts.

AMBER ROSE – In the practice package, she walks out on Maks during rehearsal because he’s a tough teacher. Who would ever walk away from Maks.?…seriously, get some backbone in that derriere. Judges think she needs to let herself go more….I second that, go, go, go.
28 pts.

JAMES HINCHCLIFFE – He’s using his alter-ego “Ricardo” to get more sexy for the rumba. He does a beautiful, smooth dance in a lacy tablecloth shirt. Julianne says he’s the best male star dancer “ever” on the show. His wife or girlfriend looks jealous of Sharna.
38 pts.

MARILU HENNER – Derek creeps himself out when he’s obviously “turned-on” by her beautiful legs. She gracefully cha chas in an awesome pink short costume, but why is her face starting to look like a cabbage patch doll? I’m just jealous she gets to learn from Derek.
34 pts.

MORE RESULTS – Laurie & Maureen are safe, Calvin (what?) and Jana (seriously?) are in jeopardy.

JANA KRAMER – okay, now these two must be mixing it up backstage…their chemistry could blow up the lab! The Argentine Tango started on a bed and ended up in the shower…literally, they were soaked. Bruno passed out, Pitbull tried to do a sexy Bruno impersonation. Chaos erupted with four 10’s.
40 pts.

MAUREEN MCCORMICK – back to crying in practice since Artem is frustrated when she forgets steps. She’s bound to stay positive though as she sambas around in a pink flamingo outfit. Pitbull says she’s overthinking and I actually agree with him! I give her one more week and then I’ll send her a tube of neck crème.
31 pts.

CALVIN JOHNSON – works up such a sweat whirling and twirling Lindsay above his head, he asks them to bring back the shower! His Argentine Tango was smoldering hot and he worked on his sexy face while taking selfies. Judges say the lifts are the best they’ve seen – of course Lindsay weighs about 90 pds.
37 pts.

LAURIE HERNANDEZ – got some advice from former DWTS gymnasts Shawn Johnson and Nastia Liukin. She did a very precise salsa, but had trouble on a lift. Julianne says she needs to move her hips like a dancer, not a gymnast. I think she’s slipping off the beam a little…
37 pts.

Time for elimination…..DRUM ROLL PLEASE….after saving and drying off Calvin and Jana, Amber Rose is a goner. I think Maks might actually be relieved since he says he’s looking forward to changing his future baby’s diaper…a much smaller booty to deal with.