TIDBITS & FIT-BYTES: Mary’s DWTS Season #23 Take

Steve Cochran Show Traffic Anchor Mary Van De Velde

Steve Cochran Show Traffic Anchor Mary Van De Velde

Dancing With the Stars – Mary Van De Velde’s Mix on Season #23

I didn’t know tackling was a new dance move! It happened after beleaguered swimmer Ryan Lochte finished his foxtrot. Two protesters wearing “NO LOCHTE” t-shirts stormed the dance floor and one was tackled by security and arrested afterwards. Tom Bergeron, always on his toes, (haha), quickly went to break and thanked security for staying in shape. How weird was that??? Never such commotion on the show. Bruno did have one of the best lines of the night when he told Lochte his “limbs are not yet used to dry land.” Aside from all the Lochte lunacy….here’s my run-down on the rest of the contestants…

–Marilu Henner – very fast and agile for 64 – “you go girl”, but get rid of the weird crush on Derek.

–James Hinchcliffe – on the fast track (get it? He’s a race car driver). He got one of the highest scores, but has stiff shoulders, probably from holding the wheel.

–Calvin Johnson Jr. – his huge feet could be a problem (size 15). Not as good as former football players, but great smile.

–Maureen McCormick – oh, Marcia, Marcia, Marcia…just not good so far, but Florence loved it.

–Kenny “Babyface” Edmonds – light on his feet and lookin’ good…he’ll improve and knows how to perform.

–Amber Rose – obviously 10 years as an exotic dancer is not going to help with ballroom dance, but OMG….that bootie!

–Vanilla Ice – forgot he was doing the cha cha and just rapped his way through with the oversized-crotched pants.

–Jana Kramer – wow, the chemistry with Gleb (yes, that is his name). You’ll need a cold shower after watching this one.

–Jake T. Austin – jerky jive…won’t last long unless improves immensely.

–Governor Rick Perry – labeled a “pedestrian” cha cha by a judge. Great enthusiasm, but no rhythm.

–Tara Jole – first little person ever on a DWTS show. She has great confidence in what she’s doing and dances great alone. When they get to the slow dances, she could have problems with keeping “in hold” with Sasha.

–Laurie Hernandez – seriously??? a gymnast, so you know she is flexible, has dance experience, plenty of energy, and can handle pressure. What a surprise that she’s in first place.

I don’t think it’s fair to put gymnasts in the show with swimmers, even though neither one of them ever wears shoes! Bring on the synchronized swimmers…now that would be a competition! Lochte, by the way…I predict he’s gone by week 3, but will dye his hair for at least one dance! Until next week…”never miss a chance to dance”…or at least watch DWTS and pretend.