Garry Meier

Top ten Cubs excuses for losing Opening Day

10.WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL WE’RE ONLY ONE GAME OUT OF FIRST PLACE

9.PLAYERS WERE DISTRACTED BY NEW ELECTRONIC SIGN IN RIGHT FIELD AND PREMATURELY  BLOOMING VINES.

 

8.PLAYERS DID NOT GET ENOUGH SLEEP DUE TO MIKE QUADE MAKING PRANK CALLS TO THEM ALL NIGHT.

 

7.WITHOUT  ALBERT PULJOS AND PRINCE FIELDER IN THEIR DIVISION THEY DIDN’T THINK THEY HAD TO PLAY AS HARD.

 

6.ONE OF THE PLAYERS HAD A DREAM THE NIGHT BEFORE THAT STEVE BARTMAN RODE INTO THE PARK ON THE BACK OF A GOAT AND IT SCARED ALL THE PLAYERS FROM THE DOMINICAN REPUBLIC.

 

5.STILL ADJUSTING TO DAYLIGHT SAVING TIME SUN ANGLE.

 

4. ENVIRONMENTALL FRIENDLY PLAYERS DON’T WANT TO SEE “WAIT TILL NEXT YEAR” T-SHIRTS END UP IN A LANDFILL

 

3.DON’T COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND THE THEO-MONEYBALL THIGAMAJIG.

 

2. BILL MURRAY PROVED TO BE A BAD THIRD BASE COACH.

 

AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON THE CUBS LOST ON OPENING DAY, PLAYERS MISS THE INNAPPROPRIATE OUTRAGE OF CARLOS ZAMBRANO WHEN THEY SCREW UP.

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